6.24.2005

hooks

I can't stop smoking because I am a freaking addict, is why.

I am addicted to cigarettes.
I am addicted to booze.
I am addicted to grapefruit juice.
I am addicted to the New York Times crossword puzzle.
I am addicted to Klondike York ice cream bars.
I am addicted to routine.

I am not addicted to gambling.
I am not addicted to television.
I am not addicted to chocolate.
I could easily be addicted to cocaine, crank and probably any number of other illegal substances, but I am not.

Reason I can't stop smoking: I have to choose my addictions carefully

9 comments:

Anonymous said...

I myself like to shop. Which way to Bailey, Banks and Biddle?
Whenever I feel the need for a drink, since I don't smoke,and no longer drink, I buy a nice sterling silver mustard pot. I have a few dozen. Things are a little tense around here today, what with the latest supreme court decisions. I think I'll go to Tiffanys. Later.

Anonymous said...

Well, I have a confession. I am addicted to doctors. It seems that once you have a therapist, and a psychiatrist, and a gerneral practitioner, and a nutritionist, and a gynocologist, and an optomitrist, and a dentist, and a dermatoglogist you shoudl be all set. But NO!! There are so many more specialists one can go to, if one so desires. Healthcare beware!! The doctor cult is here!!! A lot of people seem to be going down, chased by the doctor addiction. Everyone asks one of two questions: 1) Then why don't you marry one? (Truth be told, that would be my grandparents' dream, but, lo, I am marrying a photographer) or 2) Why don't you become a doctor. Hmmm...Let's ponder the latter for the next few years. And after so many doctors, shit, I need a cigarette.

ps. if you need a refferal, or a Rx, just call...i have connections in the industry.

Anonymous said...

I'd love some ambien. Paging Dr. Citichild!

Anonymous said...

WANTED NEW ADDICTIONS
I do not want ones that have me driving late night in search of my addiction or that would land me in jail if addiction was found on my person.
My ciggerette addiction needs a new friend besides coffee..any suggestions?

Claudia said...

Sex goes well with smoking.

Anonymous said...

maybe i should become a doctor....all you really need to know is how to tell people to "taik thir valiums"

Anonymous said...

Sex does go well with smoking. But I want an addiction I can do at the same time as smoking.

Anonymous said...

you can also say you're addicted to your blog...

Anonymous said...

that was me