the new roommate

I have a new roommate. She is a recent college graduate with an entry-level job at a law firm. She was kicked out by her previous roommate, and so she wants to know what the rules are here.
"Am I allowed to sit on your couch and even lean back on it?"
Yes.
"Do I have to pay for food I don't eat?"
No.
"Do I have to ask permission to have my friends over?"
No, but warning would be nice so that I can put on clothing.
In addition, I have a few other rules.

Eating
Do not discuss every meal. If you are cooking, and you feel like it, cook for everyone present if it is at a mealtime that most of the world would consider normal. Unless that meal is breakfast, in which case cook for me at your peril. I have a banana and coffee (and a cigarette) for breakfast and, yes, I'm sure I don't want a delicious tofu omelette.
Which brings me to the next rule: never drink the last half cup of milk that I am saving for my coffee in the morning.
Sleeping
Do not wake me up in the middle of the night (the mosquito "crisis" comes to mind) unless you want me to call an ambulence.
Please do not have your friends call on the house phone after 11:00 at night—that is when my friends call—or before nine in the morning.
Fortunately, I am pretty deaf, so it's hard to disturb me. I will try not to disturb you, but I have a tendency to prowl in the middle of the night, so keep your door shut.
Socializing
Kindly inform me if you are entertaining, particularly overnight, as I will you.
Conversely, if you are going to be out very late or overnight, please let me know, as I will you.
Do not allow the font of words to bubble forth from your lips without ceasing when I have friends over. Allow them a moment of the silence many people require to get a word in edgewise. Do not expect me to talk with your friends unless I feel like it.
Chores
Clean up after yourself, keeping in mind that I particularly dislike finding gradoo in the kitchen in the morning, particularly on the table where I will be having my coffee if there is any milk left.
General: Do not ask me every day, or preferably ever, about the outfit you are wearing.

Note: These rules may change at any time at my discretion since I am paying the rent.

Why I can't stop today: The prodigal daughter