So I'm out here in Missouri, right? Beating my head against the wall to try to do a story that nobody wants me to do, because they're afraid of losing their jobs. They're high school science teachers, struggling with "intelligent design" and evolution. School superintendants won't call me back, principals won't call me back, science chairs won't call me back, biology teachers won't call me back, and I'm sitting on my ass in the Ramada contemplating a six-hour drive to God's Nowhere Plus where I might be able to find someone who will talk to me.
Then I get the word: The magazine that sent me out here has been sold. To Bobby Guccione Jr., famous for a dad who started Penthouse and for himself starting Spin magazine. Check it out, dudes and dudettes: He thinks science is a lot like rock 'n' roll. Science has, Bobby Jr. says, "a bunch of people with strong egos and God complexes. That sounds like rock 'n' roll to me."
Is my editor playing lead guitar now?
Why I can't stop: I'm on the marimbas. Naked.
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This blog used to be called "Why I Can't Stop Smoking." Well, I did stop smoking. Now I need to stop drinking. The only thing is, every day there seems to be a reason why I can't just yet. It worked before, so—here goes! Today's reason
mr. and mrs. jones
About Me
- Claudia
- The sister of the President of the Garden Club, a former journalist (People, Life) and now vacation rental property manager on an island once known as Claudia's Island, Claudia has honed her bedmaking skills and seldom travels without a truckload of substandard chairs.
6 comments:
Thank god. Talk about intelligent design. Having scientists in charge of evolution and the History of Man is just about as piss-poor an idea as having the Mens run the planet. They all think with their privates, anyway. Ask Brad. He's a deep thinker.
Anyway, this is beyond perfect, as my friend Jerry would say.
Let Bob Guccione's heirs re-structure Discover. At least, the men will finally be able to put their cards on the table. Instead of "Archeaologists Find Early Man in Blahdebooga", we'll have a refreshingly honest article, like "Better Sex on Jupiter". Or "Was Early Man's Penis Bigger Than Yours?"
I am SO relieved.
I just wish I was in Blahdebooga instead of here.
I'm not quite sure I catch the drift you're implying but I really want that story. On the good news front: I have been approached by a producer to option your MIT story for a movie. How cool is that? Please call so we can discuss.
Tres cool. What's MIT?
Massachussets Institute of Technology.
Dork.
Shit. It's only you. I thought someone from somwhere wanted me. Alas.
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