9.23.2005

missionary position


Do you know what happens next? Lots of little plastic geckos, that's what. And I'm here to tell you, little plastic geckos aren't what they once were. They harrass big plastic geckos in the supermarket line. "No, no, darling. You can't have that bug candy," say the big plastic geckos. Then they let them get their suckers on the bug candy. Or the little geckos bug the big ones for ipods, or blast- the- insect video games. Then they throw tantrums and get what they want. Or if they don't get what they want, they call Little Gecko and Family Services and call the cops on the big geckos. I'm telling you, little geckos are ruling the world. Little geckos didn't used to be like this. They ate their flies, said thank you and cleaned up their walls. And if they didn't, they got a whuppin'.
Why I can't stop: These little plastic geckos are are going to be big plastic geckos before too long and then what will geckodom be like?

4 comments:

Anonymous said...

darling, you need to place squarely in your mind that those sonofabitches who sell you your smokes make money off you whilst they program you for a small oxygen bottle,repleate with its' designer fancy wheeled stainless steel carry cart. (phew!)another clue,THEY DON'T SMOKE. so get angry and if you then feel like smoking, diddle yourself in the "missionary position" or go out to your local bank and load up on free lollypops. Smokes are nothing more than a deadly prop.

Claudia said...

Guess that's tellin' me!

Anonymous said...

I don't know who this guy Scotchontherocks is, but I concur. He's telling you.

I'm thinking this is a good sub-plot for my CSI Pittsburg show. How does this sound: This guy, this activist, Scotchontherocks, patronizes the bar where our unsub, the Chippendale Corset strangler, is dancing. Scotch tips the guy, because he feels sorry for him, and they get in a conversation. Suddenly they are revealing their deepest secrets to each other. When Chip tells Scotch about Helga, Scotch is overwhelmed with emotion. He remembers that his favourite aunt, who died of lung cancer, used to love to watch Helga perform. Scotch and the unsub vow to lay off the old ladies, and only strangle the CEOs of major tobacco companies. So the plot take an exciting new direction. A little more universal, kind of like 24 Hours.

Claudia said...

By the by, Duncan, you're outed. Who could possibly be logging in from Dartmoth.edu?