Well, it's gonna be rough. Headed into smoking territory U.S.A, where the bars have authentic atmosphere and a pack is less than three bucks. After a month I am so longing to smoke, I can't even believe it. It's tougher than it was at the beginning. Somebody told me my cells are recycling or something. Never heard of it. But the gut is definitely clamoring for just one hit.
Why I can't stop smoking: The flesh is weak.
And the spirit isn't all that willing either.
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This blog used to be called "Why I Can't Stop Smoking." Well, I did stop smoking. Now I need to stop drinking. The only thing is, every day there seems to be a reason why I can't just yet. It worked before, so—here goes! Today's reason
mr. and mrs. jones
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About Me
- Claudia
- The sister of the President of the Garden Club, a former journalist (People, Life) and now vacation rental property manager on an island once known as Claudia's Island, Claudia has honed her bedmaking skills and seldom travels without a truckload of substandard chairs.
12 comments:
You know, it's amazing the lengths some people will go to to fall of the wagon. Like placing themselves at risk. But not the Dangerman kind of risk!
Let's say I'm a journalist, and I'm trying to quit drinking... so I decide to write a story on the bar scene in Jersey. Or, I'm a shopaholic, and I take a job as a salesclerk at Sax. Or maybe I'm a jealous person, so I invite myself to visit Angelina and her friends in Fairfield County! Like, ouch!
Some one we know should be covering the Special Olympics , or doing a story on Peter Jennings. But no! Someone we know is headed to the Ozarks.
Well, maybe one o' them good ole country boys will "see" things your way. We'll keep our legs crossed!
I meant to say: Maybe one of them big, strong mens down thar will have some intelligent designs on you, babe.
I also spelled "Saks" wrong. Sacre Bleu!
Just the thought of all those retail opportunities undoes ME.
Oh, yes...How does this sound for Citichild's Letter of Resignation:
Dear _________: (Deny's law firm's name).
I am so out of here! I'm changing my name to Wolfen and opening my own National Park.
And, like, I am having a six month vacay in Mexico first. Signed:
Wolfen____________ : The Employee Formerly Known As Hannah Gasner.
P.S. Bill at the NPS Weir Farm asked "..how the enabling legislation was going."
Angelina-
You just blew up my spot...now i have to do the deed today istead of tomorrow..because you know that the Gasner's will spread this like wildfire...and thx for putting my name as "Hannah Gasner." Geez, no one will ever guess who i am now!!!
Although...
1) it is quite witty
2) i might actually use it
3) just reading it relaxed me
And by the way, I think that i am going to do rescue relife in New Orleans...want to come?? i am driving!!! Then we can use the good deeds to drum up press for the park!!! I am leaving soon....call tonight!
ps. and thanks for letting me choose my own last name!!1
pps. sorry, it is Gasners, not Gasner's...oops. where's my editor??
Are you really going? Did I really blow your cover? I apologize. I did think about the fact that might happen, but then I thought.." Oh, what the fuck!" or should I say, "Oh, what the See." But seriously, I thought WICSS was for our eyes only. That it was the "secret" blog. No moms allowed, etc. OOp,, I'm a mom. I think.
Have a great time... I wish I could go but I just can't. Too much executrixing going down around here.
Keep me posted.
P.S. Keep your eyes peeled for some good potential parksites. I like the south for Mashed Dog.
well it no matter now. I cave in my resignation...although it wasn't a dramatic as i might have hoped. I think i should have added that i was changing my name to wolfen...because i am, you know.
I think people should leave at least one job in life in as dramatic a fashion as possible. Having had the pleasure to do this a few times..I am all for the drama...words thrown over the shoulder..and stalking out with no purpose other then to make a wonderful exit.
I think there is probably still time to do something really dramatic in the resignation department here. Even though the resignation is tendered, (well done!!!) Citichild has a few more days, I assume. So here's a suggestion for her:
Rent a really good (theatrical quality) wolf suit. Alter it to allow your face to show, and have your face made up a la wolf, like the dancers in cats do for cats.
On your last scheduled day, appear in the suit, in full facial make-up. Enter the office dramatically, with lots of savage, but dancerly motions. With your arms raised menacingly, wolfishly, claws extended, etc., announce (in a snarling, gutteral voice)" I am leaving! My name is now Wolfen. From now on, Hannah no longer exists. OOwwooooo!" Howl in a tortured, frightening yet masterful way, turn tail and lurch..or rather lope..out the door. Growling.
An exit like this will go down in Gasner history. Forever.
Your great-grandchildren will tell the the story:
" Remember when great-grandma went off her meds, and thought she was a wolf?"
Too good. So what do you think? I'll pay for the wolf costume.
But will you also do my face paint?? I have, in fact, a month before I depart form my friendly work atmospher...So we should have ample time to rough up an acceptable constume. And just think...everyone will be jealous of me!! And, ironically enough, yesterday (the day that i quit) was, indeed, my first day off the meds!! Coincidence...I think NOT!
GRRooowl. Now you're thinking clearly! Or should I say, preditorially.
I assume, now that you are med-free, you will have to resign as Chairperson of Ill- Anon ? But maybe not. Well people have symptoms, too.
We'll work on the make-up issue. We could hire a pro. We need a film maker and a still-photographer to cover the event. Like your Mom, and maybe Chris. Of course, there's also Donna. We'll line up the politically correct team as we go.
And just think...if you actually mauled someone at the office, we could get the writers of CSI New York to adapt it for the 2006 season.
You'll be famous! Can you even begin to imagine how jealous everyone will be then? I'm liking this. A lot.
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