this just in

Found in the bathroom of a bar in DC during the women's march of January 21, 2017. So there!

new delivery system!

And now, from Missouri, beer capital of the nation, comes this beer breakthrough!

Dora man patents revolutionary beer dispenser 

A multi-million dollar project featuring a product designed by Dora resident Jeff Macler, is set to be rolled out to the great expectations of craft beer brewers and beer aficionados across the country and around the world. The innovative product, which is being hailed as a major step forward in bridging the gap between craft beer availability and potential customers, is the “Synek,” a beer dispenser which promises to fill a packaging void in the beer industry.

I can't stop now!

mo' mo news

Armed shooter drill was held today at Dora School

West Plains Daily Quill An armed shooter drill was held today at Dora School to test first-responder skills of area emergency personnel and lawmen. A group of six “armed invaders” was supplied by Shield Solutions, LLC, West Plains, and local and area volunteers and students acted as hostages and victims. Shown, members of the Howell County SWAT team prepare to advance farther into the building. A “victim’’ is at right. The drill was ongoing as of noon. Further details will be in Tuesday’s Quill.

WHY I CAN'T STOP:  I doubt very much that six armed invaders are going to invade this school in rural Missouri, pop 17 people per square mile. Unless possibly it's the teachers from West Plains, who are now carrying.

custom

I've been drinking beer for a long, long time. . .

stupidist nonevent ever

Missouri Mom Charged for Topless Hot Tub Photo With Teen Daughter

(Reuters) - A photo of a topless Missouri mother and her bare-breasted teenage daughter in a hot tub has landed the mother in hot water with the law.

Mari Hieken, of Wentzville, Missouri, has been charged with misdemeanor child endangerment and could face a year in jail after the photo of herself and her 14-year-old daughter circulated on some Internet social media sites, law enforcement officials said.

A police report said the incident took place November 14 at the woman's home as she and her daughter "knowingly posed for a topless photograph." The photo was circulated in two area high schools, the police report states.

The mother told a local television station she was not posing, and did not intend for the photo to be taken, let alone distributed, but that another daughter snapped the photo before Hieken could stop her.

Hieken could not be reached to comment independently.

St. Charles County Prosecutor Tim Lomar told local media the woman should be held to account on the charges, which were filed December 12.

"The mother was very clearly present, involved when the picture was taken," Lomar told St. Louis television station KMOV in an interview. "It certainly had some sexual overtones. This was a mother who made a very poor choice."

for real!

So a friend wrote me:
I am watching one of the most brilliant movies of all time. It has a plot that makes every other screen writer look like an intern. And it goes right to the heart of the Irish experience. Produced by the Irish Film Board, no less.

It is called Grabbers.

A short plot summary: Aliens crash their craft into the sea off the Irish coast, near Erin Island, and begin to prey on the isolated population. Villagers are dragged from their boats, ripped from their homes, sucked from the beaches, which are really quite nice. But the monsters can't eat those who have a high blood alcohol content. So to survive the whole village must.....you get it.  It is Feckin brilliant.

will work for beer

If you can't beat 'em, bribe 'em! They used to hang out in the parks and drink. Now they clean the parks—and drink. You can read about their Dutch treat here.

reckless riders

Janell K. Scott, 23, and Jenna Hill, 28, face two charges of child endangerment for an alleged April 15 incident. Two witnesses provided written testimony that they witnessed an SUV vehicle in motion with two females, Hill and Scott, riding on the running boards of the vehicle and Hill’s daughters, Katelyn Hinchley, 6, and Kristin Hinchley, 7, riding on the roof. The vehicle traveled from County Road 558 onto Highway 142.
   It was determined the driver of the vehicle, Bethany Collins, 16, had no driver’s license. No charges have been filed against her, said a spokesman with the sheriff’s department.
    Hill stated in court records that her daughters had ridden on top of the SUV while on dirt roads before and that they said it was fun.-- from the West Plains Daily Quill

If they're getting after them in the Ozarks, just think what they would do to me for the kids in the back of the truck on Block Island. . .

craft beers

So there is this website, Should I Drink This Fucking Beer? And basically, the answer is no unless it's unobtanium.

helLO!

School employee carrying accidentally shoots a student. Nice one.

school principals

Springtime in the Ozarks

guys, come on!

Law Allowing Guns in Churches Signed by Arkansas Governor

By REUTERS

The Church Protection Act would allow individual places of worship to decide whether to allow concealed handguns and who could carry them. Churches that take no action will remain off-limits to guns.

The Republican-controlled House passed the bill 85-8 with bipartisan support last week. The measure previously passed the Republican-controlled Senate 28-4.

The law takes place immediately.

Gun advocates praised Beebe for his action.

"It is crucial to protecting the freedom of religion and property rights," said Nicholas Stehle, a member of the board of directors of the advocacy group Arkansas Carry.

"The state has no business meddling in the affairs of our churches," Stehle said.

Arkansas joins a handful of other states, including South Carolina, Wyoming and Louisiana, that allow guns in churches, according to the National Conference of State Legislatures.

nice town

Man accused of attacking wife with sandwich

Associated Press SCOTTSBLUFF, Neb. -- A western Nebraska man is accused of assaulting his wife with a sandwich.

The Scottsbluff Star-Herald says 50-year-old Larry Spurling, of Melbeta, is charged with disturbing the peace. According to the arrest affidavit, Spurling's wife called 911 and reported he pushed her down during an argument and rubbed a sandwich in her face.
The newspaper says court documents don't detail the ingredients, but a deputy found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside a bedroom and some pieces of bread in the bedroom.

biker heaven

Ah, the wind in your hair and Jesus riding pillion. As American as—Bud used to be.

it's so american

The menu: Watermelon, hot dogs, deviled eggs and—seltzer???

standing on line

I'm too old and too spoiled from being a journalist to stand in line with teenagers for a free concert.

doing lunch

Today's reason I can't stop drinking is lunch with Ed. Which typically starts at 1:00 or so and goes on for 12 hours. And it did.

the weather

I keep worrying about the tenants. If it's hot, they might be too hot; if cold, they might build illegal fires in the fireplace, etc. But if there's one thing over which one has no control, it's the weather. And people seem to make do. I asked the last tenants, who had a nice day followed by an awful day how they fared. "Oh," they said. "We all had such hangovers the weather didn't matter."

a century

My father-in-law's a hundred years old. And we're none of us getting any younger. l'chaim!