why I can't stop drinking

This blog used to be called "Why I Can't Stop Smoking." Well, I did stop smoking. Now I need to stop drinking. The only thing is, every day there seems to be a reason why I can't just yet. It worked before, so—here goes! Today's reason

9.30.2005

sistine chapel

9.29.2005

postage due

"What on earth do you islanders do during the winter?" the tourists used to ask the postmistress. "We knit seaweed," she...

9.28.2005

hip deep in the shit

Some days just bite. Consider my sister's day. She had guests visiting from Chicago, when all the toilets backed up in the house and ove...

9.23.2005

missionary position

Do you know what happens next? Lots of little plastic geckos, that's what. And I'm here to tell you, little plastic geckos aren'...

9.22.2005

lazigirl

Hammock or plywood? I don't feel like building. I don't feel like cleaning. I don't feel like mowing. I don't feel like read...

9.19.2005

nano, nano

"What a beautiful voice you have," he says. It has almost always worked before. When he gazes at a woman through slitted eyes, the...

9.15.2005

holy moly

In most motel rooms there is a copy of Gideon's Bible. Where is my Bhagavad Gita? My Koran? My Words of Wisdom from the Flying Spaghetti...

9.13.2005

pittsburgh, pa

Why I can't stop: Need I elaborate?

9.12.2005

i hate school

Have I mentioned this? I hate bureaucracy and bells for class and getting sent to the office and the goodie girls and the jock boys and home...

9.10.2005

i'm a bad dog

9.09.2005

the motel room

9.08.2005

rock on, darwin

So I'm out here in Missouri, right? Beating my head against the wall to try to do a story that nobody wants me to do, because they'r...

9.07.2005

i don't like worms

9.05.2005

fluids of life

9.03.2005

smokin pa

photograph by oceangurl

9.02.2005

news junkie

I'm telling you, it was as much as I could do to keep the wheel from turning south as I crossed the Mississippi River. I passed the Nati...

8.31.2005

black in lung and craw

Well, it's gonna be rough. Headed into smoking territory U.S.A, where the bars have authentic atmosphere and a pack is less than three b...

8.30.2005

it's so glamorous

photograph by Christopher Garrison

8.29.2005

back to school

"But think of it this way: at least you don't have to go to school! " Citichild is complaining about going to work, but at lea...

8.26.2005

you're going too fast

OK, I cut the cop off on Route 1. So, OK, he wrote me out a ticket for $75. This is understandable. But just a couple days before, I got a t...

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About Me

Claudia: The sister of the President of the Garden Club, a former journalist (People, Life) and now vacation rental property manager on an island once known as Claudia's Island, Claudia has honed her bedmaking skills and seldom travels without a truckload of substandard chairs.

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