why I can't stop drinking

This blog used to be called "Why I Can't Stop Smoking." Well, I did stop smoking. Now I need to stop drinking. The only thing is, every day there seems to be a reason why I can't just yet. It worked before, so—here goes! Today's reason

7.31.2005

set for the weekend

The title of this blog could just as well be Why I Can't Stop... drinking, gambling, shopping, fucking, eating, working, medicating, doi...

7.25.2005

go fish

There's a smell in the kitchen. Not like chicken. We have sniffed. We have investigated. We have scrubbed: the garbage cans the lids of ...

7.22.2005

crash pad

"She was lying on the floor in the hall naked in front of the fan," my roommate reported. "I moved her to my bed." Later...

7.21.2005

five o'clock shadow

glasses of grapefruit juice: 2 cups of coffee: 3 crossword puzzles: 1/2 bananas: 1/2 lunches with friends: 2 beers: 6 full moons: 1 cigarett...

7.19.2005

spitting out seeds

This is a watermelon. It was cut, like most of our clothing, in China. A lot of our tacky hotel art is painted there too, along with those o...

7.18.2005

macho woman

"I don't get why we are having this war in Iraq anyway," said a friend who doesn't read the newspapers much. I tried to ex...

7.17.2005

addiction report

Crossword puzzles: 1 (Sunday) Cups of coffee: 2 Beers: 0 Glasses of grapefruit juice: 0 Cigarettes: 1 Why I can't stop smoking: I'm ...

7.15.2005

readership appeal

photograph by Chris Garrison In a shameless appeal for readers, I present this as the reason for both why I should stop smoking and why I ca...

7.14.2005

substance abuse

OK, stay up drinking with your friends until 11:00. Get up at 5:00, drive for three hours, drop your truck at the shop, find out it will cos...

7.13.2005

evolution of the species—or not

What's odd about these guys? Right. They have hair. Men in New York don't have hair anymore. Sometimes they have hat, but no hair. S...

7.12.2005

yeah you

You guys know what lurkers are? Lurkers are people who read a blog but don't comment. It's sort of like snooping. Blogs are intended...

7.11.2005

over there

Alas, poor Europe. We can sit around here and scratch our asses and sympathise and pontificate, but in fact Americans are very complacent. 9...

7.08.2005

mi corazon

This is Donna, with Alberto. Although she's a nonsmoker, she doesn't mind if he smokes—it's the least of his bad habits—and besi...

7.07.2005

got no culture

Why does everyone who comes to stay with me want me to see Art? And I don't mean Art at the delicatessen. I mean MOMA, the Met, the Gugg...

7.02.2005

smoking streets

New York smells in the summer. It smells like the garbage from the MacDonald's, the wastewater from the drains, the exhaust from the bus...

6.30.2005

about face

One reason I can't stop smoking is this stupid blog. How would I face my public?

6.26.2005

not cool

"We will not turn a blind eye to serious and flagrant disregard of federal law," said a DEA agent. He wasn't kidding. No soone...

6.24.2005

hooks

I can't stop smoking because I am a freaking addict, is why. I am addicted to cigarettes. I am addicted to booze. I am addicted to grape...

6.23.2005

never done

The realization dawned slowly: I had invited the real estate agent who rents my beach house to dinner. Why did I do that? It would amount to...

6.19.2005

other people's shit

"I have never seen so much stuff in my life as your daughter moved in here," the elevator man said to me. "But I know where s...

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About Me

Claudia: The sister of the President of the Garden Club, a former journalist (People, Life) and now vacation rental property manager on an island once known as Claudia's Island, Claudia has honed her bedmaking skills and seldom travels without a truckload of substandard chairs.

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