nice town

Man accused of attacking wife with sandwich

Associated Press SCOTTSBLUFF, Neb. -- A western Nebraska man is accused of assaulting his wife with a sandwich.

The Scottsbluff Star-Herald says 50-year-old Larry Spurling, of Melbeta, is charged with disturbing the peace. According to the arrest affidavit, Spurling's wife called 911 and reported he pushed her down during an argument and rubbed a sandwich in her face.
The newspaper says court documents don't detail the ingredients, but a deputy found several pieces of lunchmeat on the carpet outside a bedroom and some pieces of bread in the bedroom.

biker heaven

Ah, the wind in your hair and Jesus riding pillion. As American as—Bud used to be.

it's so american

The menu: Watermelon, hot dogs, deviled eggs and—seltzer???

standing on line

I'm too old and too spoiled from being a journalist to stand in line with teenagers for a free concert.

doing lunch

Today's reason I can't stop drinking is lunch with Ed. Which typically starts at 1:00 or so and goes on for 12 hours. And it did.

the weather

I keep worrying about the tenants. If it's hot, they might be too hot; if cold, they might build illegal fires in the fireplace, etc. But if there's one thing over which one has no control, it's the weather. And people seem to make do. I asked the last tenants, who had a nice day followed by an awful day how they fared. "Oh," they said. "We all had such hangovers the weather didn't matter."

a century

My father-in-law's a hundred years old. And we're none of us getting any younger. l'chaim!

a dog's life

My mother loves her dog more than her children.

allergies

On account of having been bitten by ticks and chiggers in the past, I may be allergic to meat. WTF! I want my steak and brewski!

off the meds

I'm off the blood pressure medicine you're not supposed to consume alcohol with. . .

you know who

journalism 101

To become a journalist, you have to be able to think, write, talk, drink and smoke—often all at once.

no more wisdom

Isn't this enough to make you want to dull the pain?

it's tax time

Yes, it's that fabu time when I get to see how unwisely I spent my money last year—how much on beer at John's Party Pantry and the Red Bird, how much given to impecunious friends and relations, how much on substandard DSL lines in three states! It's enough to make a person turn to something other than seltzer!