forward ho

They were determined to follow the signs wherever they led. With the hula girl leading the way, they set forth through the jungle, looking for the next glimmerings of the way. Fortunately, it didn't require too much thinking, for tropic rot begins in the brain.

message from above

Friends, it has now been almost precisely a year since I began this blog. In honor of which I'm going to change the title slightly. I have, after all, stopped smoking. Although I haven't stopped many of my other addictions, including blogging.
More importantly, however, we are off on another grand adventure.
It began when we saw this sigil in the sky.
Was is an L? A delta? What?
Tell me, for it will direct the course of our explorations for some time to come. It was a sign, we knew that much. Did it portend the visitation of a stranger from another land? The Fiesta of Drunken Cowboys? The Case of the Scorpion? The Dawn of a Real Estate Empire? The Rave of Raves?
Stay tuned and add your two cents.

bathroom window

Why I can't stop: The men are outside this window too.

pests

twilight at the oasis

All was quiet on the desert front as I left the Coral Sands, sadly and slyly, at 4:45 ayem. As I slank through the gate, all the suspicious characters were sleeping soundly rather than lurking. And all the Christmas decorations were safe.

busted

"What in the world are you doing?" I asked incredulously.
We had just pulled away from the pink resort, en route for a quick cup of coffee before the next group of checkins. The place was deserted, but for the Christmas tree proudly standing sentinel on the white trash patio.
As we drove towards Palm Canyon, a white male slunk out from between the hedges surrounding an empty lot.
"What's that guy doing?" asked the motelier. "I don't like his looks. I think I'll drive around the block and come back by the place."
He looked okay to me. Khaki shorts, plaid shirt, shaved head. About like every other young white male in this 47 percent gay male town.
But when we pulled up outside the white trash patio, the previously locked gate was ajar and the perp was inside the gate, holding a can of pop and a bottle of water.
"I was just getting some water," he said. "Do you want me to put it back?"
"Yes," said the motelier. "I sure do."
On instinct, I aimed the camera at him.
The speed with which he covered his face indicated to me that he was not unbknown to the police.
Why I can't stop: The goddam lag in both my reflexes and my camera.

safe home

Thank heavens, the tree is safe again, taking pride of place on the white trash patio. The feral cats are on alert. But since they have a tendency to vamoose at the least sign of trouble. . .
How many cats can you see in this picture?
Why I can't stop: A mysterious stranger has been seen lurking around the hood.

rear view

It's easy to say in retrospect that she shouldn't have done it, but not only the tree, but all of the Christmas decorations were at stake. And for a motelier, decor is everything. Thank the Goddess they hadn't taken the Valentine's Day devil ducks.
"Meet me at the storage facility outside of town," the Voice said. "Come alone. Bring cash. We're almost out of time. Wait by the gate for further instructions."
Dusk was falling, when the motelier nervously pulled up at American Storage. The place seemed deserted but for a light in the office and the sound of a dog barking.
The cellphone rang. "Drop the cash into the slot. Do not hang up."
She dropped the cash into the slot. And then, as if by magic, the electric gate swung wide.
"Procede to storage unit 38," the voice said over the phone.
She shifted the car into drive.
Why I can't stop: Hindsight is so notoriously 20-20.

the plot fattens

"Meet me at the deserted house in the north of town." The instructions came by phone.
"What else," the motelier asked herself, "could go wrong today?" Already there had been the suspicious guests calling themselves a mother and daughter from Texas. They kept themselves to themselves, except for the brief attack on Lola. No harm done, as it proved, but terrifying while it lasted. Then there had been a series of financial setbacks requiring fast legal attention, the car/wallet/identity theft of the real estate broker, the threat of the kidnapping of the artificial Christmas tree from the white trash patio, the case of the broken stove spring, the missing cell phone and any number of other sinister occurances.
And now this. What could the man possibly want? And was it safe to find out?
Why I can't stop: The suspense is killing me.

a motelier's life

Rosita is on strike again, and so she must clean all the rooms herself. That's eight bathrooms, four kitchens and countless kitch salt 'n'peppa shakers to polish up. The girls are coming over to watch the Grammys, so there's dinner to prepare, too. Today's the day the trainer decides to step things up a notch. Jerry's sending a location scout over to photograph the place now, and, wouldn't you know it, the only guest in the place has messed up the best room. Not to mention hasn't paid a dime. The room next to that one still smells like the perfume of one recent guest, a transsexual supermodel (to see her click short movie, MAC, on DAVID LACHAPELLE'S SITE).
And then the nearby radio station calls to ask if you've been robbed and the neighborhood's hushed quiet is split by sirens.
Why I can't stop: What will happen next?

even in paradise

Why I can't stop: No scorpions, yet, but a killer cold.

this great land

I took a lot of pictures out the window of the plane. Especially when we passed over Monument Valley and the national park you may recognize above.
Why I can't stop: On this day of days I do not wish to think about national parks.

spanish speaking countries

Eating Cubano sandwiches in the Bronx with the Havanese dog owners I'm about to meet in Mexico and my Puerto Ricena friend.
Why I can't stop: I theen my daughter took my Berlitz phrase book.

glories of the male form

Why I can't stop:
Abs like rippling marble

more fun

addiction report

Smoking: Not
Drinking: Yes
Crossword puzzles: Not every day
Grapefruit juice: Not every day
Computer: Out of control
Nuts: Out of control
Newest addiction: IM-ing with Wolfen and Oceangurl
Next addiction: Exercise
Why I can't stop: It's in the genes

why not

Why I can't stop: It's so FUN